


Broadcasting, directly to you

by Cordatesa



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Angst, Character Devolpment, F/M, I have feels, Implied Relationship, Jim Kirk is smart okay, M/M, Other, Scotty is going to be in here too because he deserves more recognition, Slow Burn, Spock tries to hide his emotions, Star Trek - Freeform, Star Trek Universe, Star Trek aou, Tarus IV, alternate au, everyone is worried about jim, guardian angels are involved somewhere, idkwhere I’m going with this, it is an alternate au ish, it takes a while, its 3 am I’m sorry, jim is trapped in his own mind, there is another alien planet, they are a family, they’re kinda dead but not really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:01:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24622033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cordatesa/pseuds/Cordatesa
Summary: Jim Kirk has been attacked by an alien species and is now suffering from the affects of the poison. The crew is trying to find a cure but it seems Jim’s body has gone into a coma to protect itself, and Jim’s mind has been adrift for far too long. Will the crew be able to get through to him? Will they be able to save him from his own mind and an alien poison?
Relationships: James T. Kirk & Leonard "Bones" McCoy, James T. Kirk & Montgomery "Scotty" Scott, James T. Kirk & Nyota Uhura, James T. Kirk & Spock, James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy, James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all!! So this is my first published fic, and I’d really appreciate the feedback! Constructive criticism is welcome. Anywho, as of now I have no idea how long this will last or how long it will go on for but...I hope it’ll last. My ideas be brewing here. Anywho, enjoy yourself.

Jim slowly opened his eyes, trying to remember where he was or what had happened. After a few moments he could lift his head enough to look around. He was in the medical bay...on the ship. So that would mean that Bones was near by. He let out a groan and an attempt at a name before giving up and letting his head slide back down. 

“Settle down Jim, you’re still suffering from some side affects.” Side affects of what? He tried to push himself up but everything hurt, like his body was on low heat, left to simmer. 

“Bones,” he managed to get it out this time, it was Bones right? He looked like Bones, and sounded like Bones...maybe. He wasn’t sure. “Bones I- I can’t remember.”  
he managed to get up enough to grab Bones shirt and pull him closer to him. 

“Easy there Jim, just take a breath it’ll-“ he didn’t have time to finish as Jim was quickly starting to panic, his voice getting louder and with each second passing. 

“No! You don’t understand! I-I can’t remember anything! It’s all gone, it’s fuzzy I know things but I can’t remember!” He stared up with pleading eyes, he had to get Bones to understand. He would help, he had to. It wasn’t right, something wasn’t right here! 

“I’m sorry, Jim,” was all he managed to hear before he felt the sting of a hypo in is neck and his eyes drifted shut, “I’m so sorry kid.”  
⇄  
Leonard McCoy sat in the chair right beside the bed Jim Kirk was currently occupying. His shoulders slumped and a look of hopelessness mixed with worry on his face. 

“How am I supposed to fix this mess, Jim? How?” He went to grab the man’s hand but the sound of the medical door opening stopped him. He changed his position to look more alert, and hopefully less exhausted. Spock entered the room with a PADD in hand, a more then usual stony look on his face. 

“Doctor. Has there been any progress on the Captain’s state?” Leonard huffed out a sigh. 

“Other then a spiked heart rate earlier not a damn thing. The kid is still in whatever funky coma that damn alien put him in-

“Doctor, need I remind you that-“ Leonard waved his hand at him. 

”Yeah yeah, I know. It was an animal or whatever, doesn’t change the fact the Jim’s in a coma with some unknown poison in his body slowly killing him. I’m working with what I got Spock but this species, Hell, this whole planet is so damn different from earths I don’t even know where to start looking for a cure,” and it was something Leonard hated to admit. 

“I assure you Doctor. We have the best medical team on the planet working on a cure for the Captain, as well as our crew up here. I would suggest that you take some much needed rest so you can preform adequately for the Captain.” Spock took a few steps closer to the bed. 

“If you think I’m leaving him alone you’ve got another thing coming for you Vulcan!” Leonard sat up straighter with a glimpse of fire in his eyes. Who did he think he was telling Leonard to leave Jim. He wasn’t the damn CMO for nothing. 

“He will not be alone. I was planning to take your spot and work on my reports that way you can get your rest Doctor. You will do no good to Jim sleep deprived.” Spock waited, he knew he was being logical but it was only the matter of if the doctor would be logical too. It was always a fight with humans. 

”Damnit,” Leonard hated when the hobgoblin was right, and it was true. He’d barely slept a wink since Jim had been brought in two days ago. Some rest would be nice. Plus, there were worse people to leave Jim with. “Alright fine, you win. But there are conditions. Number one, I’m sleeping in my office and two, as soon as anything changes with Jim and I mean anything you’re waking me up and calling me in here. Understand Spock? And I mean anything from a pinky twitch to a cough.” Len looked at Spock, he wasn’t moving until he agreed. 

Sock nodded his head. “I understand.” With a slow sigh Leonard pushed himself up from the chair, and let his hand rest on Jim’s for a split second before moving into his office. 

Once the doctor was out of the chair Spock took his seat and quietly got to work. Hoping by keeping himself busy he would occupy his mind. After all, guilt was not a logical feeling. 

⇄

The second time Jim woke up he felt more alert. His whole body still felt like it was on fire but, at least his head wasn’t a complete ball of mush. He didn’t think so anyway. Slowly he pushed himself up, happy to find he could do it himself this time. He was still in what he believed to be the med bay but, he wasn’t sure how? Or why he even knew it was the med bay? There has been a doctor before. He was sure of it, Bones was his name? He let out a chuckle at the irony of it. Might as well give it a shot to call out. 

“Anybody here? Excuse me? Doctor Bones?” No reply. Slowly Jim eased himself off of the bed, walking towards what he hoped was the exit. “Hello?” 

Before he made it to the door, it opened and man stepped through; a PADD in his hands. 

“Uh, hey there,” Jim managed to speak out, and the man look up at him with surprise on his face. He had to admit, he usually thought bowl cuts where tacky but..they seemed to suit this guy. Weirdly. Whoever he was. “Would you happen to know where Bones is? Doctor Bones? He was here earlier but I think he left...” 

The man continued to stare at him, making Jim uncomfortable. Did he have nothing to say? He cleared his throat hoping the guy would say something. The man seemed to get a hold of himself enough to answer. 

“I am assuming you are referring to Doctor McCoy. He is currently taking a break.” he look closer at him “I had been assured that you were unconscious.” 

Jim was taken a back at first, he was expecting something, well, a little more pleasant. He cracked out a smile. “Sorry to disappoint,” only to get nothing from the man. Who appeared to be a robot, but yet....he seemed familiar somehow? This whole place did? But ...he couldn’t remember anything. At least not anything clearly. He knew it should bother him, it just...didn’t. 

He shook his head, he did not need this problem right now. “I’m Jim by the way.” He offered his hand out but man just stared at it, not responding to it. 

“I am aware,” thats all?

”Okay, and you are? I feel like we’ve met before...” he trailed off hoping the guy would at least provide some answers. 

“Spock.” talking to this guys was almost like talking to a robot. “Nyota would be best to answer your questions. I will send her here.” and just like that Spock was out the door. 

After a few minutes of processing what the hell had just happened Jim want back to the bed and sat on it, ready to wait for the next person. Fortunately, it wasn’t long. The sound of the door opening startled him from whatever daze he was in, and he got up ready to face the intruder. Who happened to be a gorgeous woman, in Jim’s opinion. 

She nodded at him and gave a small smile, “Hello, I’m Nyota. Spock informed me that you would be awake, and with questions.” She motioned for Jim to stay in the bed and sat in the chair herself. Not only was she good on the eyes but her manners were a hell of a lot better too. 

“Well he’d be right about that. I got about a million of them,” she nodded her head in understanding, “number one, how come I can’t remember anything? And how come Spock or whoever seemed frightened to see me? Also why am I calm? I feel like I shouldn’t be this calm right now. I don’t like it.” Jim finally finished speaking and looked to her for answers, for something. 

“James, Jim,” she corrected herself, “what do you remember before coming here?” She eyed him carefully. He had to stop and think about it even harder. 

“I remember something, an accident? It’s, fuzzy,” everything was fuzzy. There was pain. A lot of it, and that Spock dude. He was there too. Is that why I’m here? Am I recovering?” Nyota gave him a sad smile. 

“Sort of,” she paused again as if trying to find the words that wouldn’t hurt him. “Doctor McCoy had to give you a sedative after the first time you woke up. You were panicking and it was doing no good for your health. Physical or mental.” well that explained the weird calm. He looked at her to continue. “And it’s true, you did have an accident, and Spock was there. Although I was hoping to keep that from you for a little longer.” 

“Keep it from me? Why?” Jim squinted at her. He wasn’t liking where this was going. “Get on with it. Tell me what’s going on.” Nyota let out another sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“Look, Jim. I’m going to get straight the point. This ship? Think of it a safe passage. It’s taking you to a better place, and everyone on this ship is here to help you move on-“ he couldn’t help it anymore. He wanted answer and he wanted them now. 

”Why? Where am I going and what do you want? How the hell do I know what you’re saying is true huh? And what aren’t you telling me?” He would have continued but the look in Nyota’s eyes stopped him, a shiver of dread ran through his body. 

Silence. 

“Jim, you’re dead.”


	2. Chapter 2

Leonard let out a frustrated sigh as he slowly swirled the Amber liquid in his glass. He wasn’t usually one for drinking on the job but damnit he needed it. He wasn’t sure how many more hours he could take of staring at reports and essays on Yozu’s and their poisonous effects. He glanced at the bed where the man holding all of his thoughts was laying and frowned. He hadn’t realized when Uhura had replaced Spock. 

“Doctor,” well speak of the devil Spock was here. He gestured for him to come in, “have you been able to find out more information?” 

Spock, of course, chose to stay standing. Leonard tossed one of his files at him and opened his mouth, ready to fill him in. 

“Not much. Part of the effect of the poison was putting the victim into a hallucination, effectively trapping them in their mind. Apparently there’s all this bullshit about it being peaceful, that way the predator could snack on the victim for a week or more without any fighting or screaming,” he hates the thought of Jim being stuck in his own mind, “I’m working with what I got here but the Jorins have a way higher tolerance to this stuff than any human ever could. “

Spock waited a moment before responding, “I see. If the situation becomes dire enough, it is possible that I could enter the Captain’s mind and help him. However, the risks of the unknown are over 76%.”

Leonard nodded, “Yeah. We better wait unto we know more. Jim’s body is fighting okay for now but who knows what’s going on inside that head of his...”

⇄

It had taken him more than a few minutes to process what Nyota had told him. He’d gone through the emotions, denial and rage. Currently, he was working on acceptance. He supposed it made sense, why everything he tried to remember was fuzzy, why he’d had the accident. One thing he couldn’t figure out was why he felt pain. Shouldn’t a dead person just, not feel anything? Apparently not, his body still felt like it was on fire. Although now it was more of a tingling sensation rather than straight up heat 

He heard the door swoosh and looked up to see Nyota walking back with a glass of water in her hand. She passed it to Jim, who gladly drank it, but she wasn’t sitting down this time. 

“Would you like a tour of the ship Jim? Who knows, we might meet some of the crew along the way,” she offered a hand to Jim and helped to pull him up. 

“You said this place was taking me somewhere better? Where? And is the crew dead too?” Jim had at least ten other questions he could have asked at the moment, but upon leaving the medbay he had distracted himself by taking in all the details of the ship. 

Nyota looked at Jim as he examined the ship. “The crew isn’t dead. Or, I should say they died a long time ago. Each member was specifically chosen to help you move on, in away. Once you feel you are ready, and when the journey ends you will make a choice.” 

Jim finally turned to look at her, “Are you always this vague? If anything you’re making me have even more questions.” 

Nyota didn’t say anything, just smiled. Of course, that’s what she did. Jim had to resist the urge to roll his eyes- Wait, no. He hasn’t resisted to well. He’d also run into her, not realizing they’d stopped. 

Spreading her arm Nyota gestured to the room they’d stopped in front of. “This is the rec room, people come here to hang out and relax when they aren’t in duty.” 

Jim peaked his head inside and saw two people, a blonde nurse and some dude. He squinted his eyes, trying to make out more details. 

“That’s Nurse chapel and Pavel Chekhov. You can have a proper introduction later,” before he could protest Nyota had started moving along, and Jim had to play catch up. 

The next room they saw was the engine room. Jim was in so much aw with the engines that he hadn’t even realized someone else had snuck upon them. 

“She’s a real beauty this lassie ain’t she,” Jim jumped at the sudden voice, which only made the man chuckle. 

“Yee can calm down, I’m not tryna’ kill yee or anything,” the Scotsman stopped, realizing what he’d said his eyes going wide, he tried to back peddle. “Not the a’ would of course, I canae do that now, even if I wanted ta’. Which a’ don’t!” 

“Scotty!” Nyota warned him. The man just put his hands up and started backing away.

“Right then, I’ll just leave you two and be on ma’ way” after he said this Scotty turned and slinked into some part of the engine room, somewhere he could work without getting in trouble for letting his mouth run 

“I’m sorry about him Jim, Scotty isn’t exactly known for having a filter.” 

“What? No, pfft it’s fine,” Nyota didn’t look like she believed him. Rightly so of course, the whole interaction had been a rollercoaster from start to finish and Jim didn’t even know where to begin wrapping his head around it. 

Nyota just gently put her hand in his elbow, “We should keep moving,” and so they did. 

They managed to visit the rest of the ship minus the bridge, which was where they were currently heading. The more they walked the weaker Jim felt, to ignore the pain Jim had been asking questions and Nyota had been answering them in her vague helpful but not really way.

“So, if everyone here is supposed to help me then how are you helping me? By being my navigator?” He wasn’t expecting a straight answer, and he didn’t get one. 

Nyota eyes him worriedly, “You’ll figure that out soon enough. After the bridge, I think we better go back to the med bay. You’re still adjusting, some rest will do you good.” Jim could agree to that, in fact, a nap right now sounded good. He was already struggling to keep his eyes open. “Jim? Jim?” 

Nyota was looking down on him, worry etched in her face. Her lips were moving to but he couldn’t hear anything, and hey! The doctor Bones was back too! That was all he could focus on. Everything was going black and fuzzy again, and the voices were just becoming more and more muffled...

⇄

”Get me another hypo now!” Leonard McCoy was currently trying to roll Jim Kirk on to his side to stop any other side effects of a seizure. Finally, Chapel came back with the hypo. Leonard snatched it from her hand and inserted it into Kirk's neck. It took effect a few seconds later and Jim finally settled down enough to get rolled onto his back again. 

Uhura finally stepped closer to the bed, she'd backed off to give the medical team some space. "What happened? Is he going to be okay?"

"It's Jim's body trying to expel the toxin. If we don't find a cure in two weeks either the poison will kill him, his mind will kill him or his body will break from all of the stress." Leonard balled up his fist and slammed it into the wall, finally letting his frustration and fear take over his body. Uhura softly walked over and out her hand on his shoulder. 

"He'll pull through Leonard. All of us will." there was no response from the Doctor. She waited a bit before walking over to talk with Christine in the corner.

"How do you think he's holding up?"

"I think he could be doing a lot worse." 

"I agree, but you know how this is affecting him. Spock too."

"Yeah I know, they're closer to Kirk then anyone else on the ship."

"I hate to think about what will happen if he doesn't-"

Uhura cut her off sharply, "Then don't." she had to pause to take in a breath. The last thing Christine needed was to have yet another person taking their worry and stress out on her. "Listen, I should go back to work. I think Chekov was planning on stopping in. I'll tell him to wait a bit."

Christine nodded, and with that Uhura left to go take her shift. Thoughts of ‘what if’ filling her mind the whole way there.

⇄

Jim slowly opened his eyes again. Only to look over and see the good doctor hovering beside his bed. He gave a sly smile and a wink, “Doctor, we’ve got to stop meeting like this.” 

Bones rolled his eyes at him. "I see you're just peachy again."

Jim hummed in agreement. "Is that why you're here? To take care of me when I faint do whatever dead people do?” The Doctor did nothing but grunt in response. Was anyone here a good conversationalist? Jim was really starting to doubt it, "Is Bones really your name?"

The doctor finally looked up at him, and for a second his eyes glazed over and he looked like he was seeing a ghost. He silently shook his head and answered, "It's one of 'em. Most people call me Leonard or McCoy. Usually it's Doctor." 

Jim let out a small laugh. "Right, of course you wouldn't actually be named Doctor Bones. Don't know why I ever thought that. Is that why you got the nickname though?"

Leonard let out a frustrated huff. "Look kid you're great. really but I'm kind of working on something important right now. You can come back and be a bother some other time but you're fine so why don't you go explore or whatever." 

"Oh," it hadn't seemed like he was doing anything important. Maybe he just didn't like Jim. "yeah, I'll get out of your hair. Sorry for bothering you." He got up to leave. 

"Look, kid. It's not you. Really it isn't but-"

"Hey," Jim cut him off and gave him and attempted smile. "It's fine, I'll just go explore or something." Not like he hadn’t already seen the ship. 

Before the Doctor could say more Jim had left the medbay. What was he supposed to do now? Would he be able to find Nyota? Shrugging, he decided that maybe wandering around aimessly would be the best thing today. Hell, maybe he could take time to make sense of everything.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been walking, but it must have been a while. He had wandered into the rec room. Christine was gone but that kid was still there. Chekov? He wandered over and sat by the kid who looked like he was working on some crazy math equation. 

The kid looked up at him and gave him a smile, "Ah, Hello Mr. Kirk. it ees a plesure to meet you," the kid held out his hand. "I am Pavel Chekov."

Kirk shook his hand, "It's nice to meet you too Mr. Chekov. What are you working on there?"

"vhat, this? Oh, it ees nothing, Just some engineering equations. I can always do zat another time." he pushed his work to the end of the table, "How are you Mr. Kirk? It can not be easy to adjust." 

Jim nodded in agreement. "It's, It's not. I mean, I know I am dead but where am I now? I can barely remember my life but...I know I miss it."

"Yes, I know vhat you mean, Vhen my family left Russia it vas not easy. As I got older I realized I vas forgetting my homeland and it scared me. I had to fix this emeedatley of course. After remembering vhat I had forgotten I started coming up with vays to remember it, I found frequwently talking about it helped me eemensly You should try it Mr. Kirk."

"I wan't to kid, really I do but I can't. I've tried." and he had. there were things, small things that he knew were important. He just couldn't place it. 

"It ees alvays best to smart small. Think of something from your childhood? Your mother? Home?" this kid was looking at Jim like he believed in him and it was scaring him. "ewen something small is an accomplishment." 

He tried to think of something, if not for himself then for the puppy eyes the kid was giving him. His mother, he remembered her, right? A small picture in his mind appeared. “Jimmy, come on you can do it! Just think about the next move.” He was trying, he was. Slowly he reached for the knight, and picked it up, making eye contact with his mother. She raised her eyebrows and he put it back, studying the chess board yet again. This time he reached for the Rook, repeating the same actions of picking it and and sneaking looks at his mom for approval. A small smile graced her face, feeling more confident he looked for the best spot to move the piece. 

“Checkmate,” he hoped, the loud whoop from his mother was enough confirmation and he let a large grin fill up his face. 

Another memory started, he must’ve been younger, around 5 or 6. He was sitting at the kitchen table with Sam, both of them waiting for mom to finish cutting the apple pie. Sam was making faces at him, trying to get him to laugh, and succeeding. Their laughter mixed in with the wafting smells of Ma’s baking drifted through his mind before he slowly drifted back. 

He jumped when he opened his eyes to see the kid staring into his eyes, he was back in the rec room. “Woah,”

”Did eet verk?” Jim nodded in reply still in awe at how vivid it had been . Chekov kept talking, “Zée memories are usually strong and overpowering at the start. Eet vill not be as disorienting zee next time you recall them.” 

He wanted to go back, so desperately. Wanted to feel the innocence of youth, time with Sam and his Mom, before everything went to crap. How had he forgotten those? They were the best memories of his childhood and yet...

”Vould you like to learn about zee engines sir? Or perhaps you vould like to hear a story. You need to get your mind off of the memories, othervise functioning properly vill become harder.” 

Jim shook his head, trying to clear it. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Go ahead Chekov.”

”Vell, this begins all zee vay back in Russia vhere a little old lady told a story to scare her grandchildren...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weeeeeell, here I’m back with another Chapter. As always thoughts and comments are appreciated! I’m hoping to go back and edit it properly when I can do it on my lap top not my phone. Alas I vent wait for the to get the chapters out.


End file.
